


Brooklyn 81

by isobel__smy



Series: Malec Advent Calendar 2017 [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: AU, Camille Belcourt Being An Asshole, Fun, Funny, M/M, Mundane Alec Lightwood, Mundane Magnus Bane, Mundane Magnus Bane/Mundane Alec Lightwood, b99 au, brooklyn 99 - Freeform, police fic, simon lewis is a dork but I love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 16:03:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13011270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isobel__smy/pseuds/isobel__smy
Summary: The one where Malec are the adorable police detective couple





	Brooklyn 81

“Honestly, are you even trying anymore?” Magnus’ voice was smug as he waved two case files in Alec’s face. Alec simply sighed; there wasn’t anything he could say that Magnus couldn’t respond with a snarky comment with. It was why Magnus was the cool one. Alec was the nerd, which he was still proud of. (Crowned nerdiest student in 6th grade.) “Come on, I’m beating your ass Lightwood.”

“You’d never manage to beat my ass,” called Isabelle, who was currently pulling out cables from her computer and throwing them at a helpless Raj. “Specify which Lightwood you’re mocking, Bane.”

“Duly noted,” Magnus conceded, before turning back to Alec. (Who certainly was not at all turned on by this conversation.) “Anyway, hottest Lightwood, I’m beating your ass. Two cases solved today? It’s not even lunch time.”

“How would you know?” Alec replied, leaning back in his seat and folding his arms. It was a power move, apparently. He’d learnt it when Isabelle had bought him a ticket to a Power Moves Ted Talk to say thanks for letting her skip family Thanksgiving. “You don’t even eat meals at meal times. When is lunch time?”

Magnus rolled his eyes, still leaning against Alec’s desk. Their desks were literally touching one another's, and they talked when both at their desks all the time, but apparently he had wanted to be closer when he came to gloat. “Lunch time is whenever I remember that I’m hungry, Alexander. So often… Three pm. Maybe 11 am if I’ve solved a lot of cases. Which… I have.”

“Fine, yes, you’re winning at the moment. But not for long… You are only three ahead of me, after all.” But three was a lot… Alec was already trying to work out how he could solve five cases in the time that Magnus took to solve one. There was no dignity in it, but he’d have to ask Raj and David for their cases. They had all the old ones because everyone knew how useless they were. “That’s easily beatable.”

“Oh yeah?” Magnus’ tone was a new type of cocky. “I’m looking forward to seeing that, darling.”

“Well, you-” Alec started, just as Simon tripped out of the elevator. Everyone paused for a second, looked, saw it was Simon, and turned back to their work. And then everyone looked again. 

Simon was covered in some sort of red sauce. It was dripping all over his uniform, and it was in his hair. The floor beneath him was slowly turning red as well, as the sauce dripped from his hands. Nobody moved, nobody spoke. David even stopped eating.

“Simon?” Magnus spoke. It was his duty, after all, as Simon’s right hand man. Well, Alec amended, Simon was really Magnus’ right hand man. “What the hell happened to you, dude? Did you trip and fall into a vat of pizza sauce?”

“Were you abducted by aliens who threw sauce at you thinking your pale skin meant you were pizza dough?” Piped up Raphael. Looking up to see Simon was probably the first thing he’d done that wasn’t play phone games and tweet mean things about Alec’s outfit. (It was a fine outfit. Professional.)

“I was vultured,” Simon said, making his way into his desk. Alec could see everyone wince as he sat down. Those stains would never come out of the chair. “There I was, about to solve a case- you know: the one with the pizza thief- and I was about to arrest the guy and then the Vulture came. And she pretended to accidentally knock a jar of sauce all over me.”

“So we were right about what type of sauce it was!” Magnus high fived Alec- who had responded purely on instinct. “But seriously, Camille’s a bitch. We’ll get her one day. Sorry this had to happen to you, Simon.”

Simon shrugged. “Thanks Magnus.”

Magnus turned back to Alec. “I’m gonna go get Simon some new clothes and then continue beating your ass. Bye bye, hottest Lightwood.” And then, before Alec’s tired brain could think of something to reply with, Magnus had quickly kissed him on the lips and swaggered off.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey you all!
> 
>  
> 
> Day 14- and we have a Brooklyn 99 crossover. Honestly I am so obsessed with this tv series I had to write this short fic. Magnus obviously had to be Jake, and Alec had to be Amy. Izzy was Rosa, Simon was Boyle, Lydia would have been Holt if she’d featured in this story, Raj was either Hitchcock or Scully, (and then I had to add in a random dude called David…)
> 
> Anyway, did I make the right decision? And did you like this? 
> 
> Comment below and let me know!


End file.
